II Book of Scott

While I was at college I wrote a letter to my friend Alishia. I decided to write it in Book of Mormon/Bible style and thought it was funny at the time. It turned in to us writing back and forth this way for quite a while. At the time it was a great way to pass the time and always brought a smile to my face. This past week I was feeling like crap, not wanting to do much. Alishia sent me a few of the letters I sent her that she has kept 5+ years. It made my week. Here are the letters she sent me back that I sent her in 2004 (when I was still going to church).

Letter #1
II Book of Scott
Chapter 1

1.And it came to pass I did find my self with a lack of education,
and behold my family urged me to receive that which I had not received.

2.And it came to pass that I did move unto the land of Ephraim,
a land stinky above all others because of the many turkey farms among all the land,
and found a place of dwelling known to this people as Cami’s Cottage.

3.Thus concluding the eighth month of the fourth year.

4.and it came to pass I did find people of kindness and love, and it came to
pass I found the past times of these people different then the past times of
my people the salt lake cityites, causing me much joy to find those skilled
in the arts of fishing and hunting having little money to extensively do
either I make do with the resources I had saved in the earlier years.

5.Now behold, I have joined a club, a club chosen above all other
organizations, known to this people as archery club, and it came to pass I
saw that it was good. And behold, I found threw a test of man I can out
shoot the president of this club, making the people stare in unbelief.

6.Now behold, as the blessing of my father came upon me. I found food in the
market, and with his blessings (his money) I hungered no more, and their was
much rejoicing in the house of Scott and mine brother, Neil, who lives with
me.

7.Now behold. We go to class with vigor and strength being faithful unto the
words of the lord. Behold, I labor hard in the fields of schooling namely
political science, psychology, and English, a class known as difficult among
this land. Yet I learn the arts of life threw the trials and tribulations I
have received, and will yet to receive.

8.Knowing that threw my heavenly father all things are possible I go threw
my many trials I must endure.

9.mine chariot hath started to break causing me to be prayerful because of
the lack of funds that I have received since my time upon this land to be
able to fix my transportation.

10.and it came to pass I did frequent my land of child hood, the land of the
fast paced people, many times to enjoy the company of my friends, a group
loved above all other, which has thinned with age, many with bride or
husband also many in the lords work.

11.But now behold Alishia, princess of the draperites, did agree to come
down to the land of Ephraim. And there was much rejoicing in the land. For I
have longed to see my old friend, whom as been a true friend for more then a
decade.

12.Now behold I do seal up this computer and wish thee the best of luck and
happiness.

13.Thus ending the ninth month of the fourth year in which the people
rejoiced for there blessings.

Letter #2

II Book of Scott
Chapter3
1. And it came to pass I did travel unto the land of SLC to hear the words of the great prophet Gorden b. Hinckly and it came to pass he did speak many great words unto the people.
2. And it came to pass I did go unto the distant land to see the princes of bluffdaleites and retrieved my weapon of war, and to enjoy a ride on a two wheeled chariot.
3. And it came to pass I did return to the stinky land of Ephraim on the seventh day of the week with much haste to destroy mine enemy, home work.
4. Now behold I do send this epistle to the princes Alishia to inquire unto her traveling to this the turkey land, do thee still plan on coming unto this land? And if thou sill are on what day and with whom will thou travel?
5. Now behold I did miss all mine classes on this day for one teacher did cancel his class and I did not feel like attending the other so I did nothing all of this the 5th day of October.
6. Now behold I do dread the reality that the terms of mid draw near I tremble to think of the out come of this test. But behold I will do my best in all things.
7. And behold I do have joy for archery club doth meet tonight and I once again will have a way to relax.
8. Now as I think I have not much to say in this the first week of the tenth month so I do bid thee fair well

Letter #3
II book of Scott
Chapter 5

1.And now behold I do write unto Alishia princess of the Bluffdalites,
concerning the things of my mind, a lonely place of confusion, the stinky
land doth require much in these the midterm days.

2.Now behold I do join study groups and do retire early to my room to read
and write the language of this land. And now behold I do work hard in the
fields of schooling, but will in the end be blessed for my trials.

3.Concerning the traveling of this people, I Scott, king of the stinky land
might travel unto the land of the salty lake, Dustin, the village idiot, is
going to travel for sure unto the land of sandy home of the great Mayan,
food source for many large in stature, Neil, the stinky lands chariot fixer
is also traveling unto the salty lands.

4.Now behold I do ask of the fair princess concerning my traveling, if I
should come unto her or if she shall travel unto to this land?

5.For behold I am conflicted upon this matter for it matter little unto me,
the great king for the stinky land, for I can choose not one friend over
another (o wait I can, ok Alishia, that was easy) so I will go and do the
things my friend commands.

6.And it came to pass that I do have a great head ache and I lack the tylo
of nol and there is much suffering in the land.

7.And it came to pass my day did fly on the back of a privet bird with my
teacher of the home from the land northward and came to lunch. Now behold he did
travel again unto this land with my uncle this day and brought me an extra
key for I did lock my set in my chariot. And we did rejoice in the food he
did provide form the land of china (a Chinese place down here).

8.Now I do send this letter with the hope of a return epistle, I send my
best wishes also.

Letter #4
II book of scott
ch. 6

1. Now behold Scott did want to inquire of the queen of the Bluffdalites,
who had expanded her kingdom to the north, and had subdued the evil unto
45th south. Now behold Scott did wonder about the life of the queen and the
lack of letters there of.

2. And it came to pass that I did recommence the writings that the darkness
of the land would cease, and the happiness would come again. And the letter
went.

3. Alishia, queen of the Bluffdalites, it has been a cold month in the land
stinky above all others, even colder without your writings. Nay it has been
a trying week in this land; the village idiot has become a thorn in my side.
Behold his laziness exceeds all others.

4. Now behold I did ponder on killing such boy but did not find it to be the
lords way. And it came to pass that I did leave my dwelling and went to the
club above all other clubs and had joy above all else.

5. And behold I say unto you there is nothing greater than shooting. And I
do testify to its purity.

6. And it came to pass I did return to my dwelling were I slept a deep sleep
in to the next after noon. And behold I had a dream in with I was helping my
fellow man, giving food and aid to those greatly harmed by a strong wing in
a land faraway.

7. Queen I do bid thee fair well, I must return to the place of learning
that I might rule the world with intelligence, and not fear. So hearken to
my words and remember not the things of negativity and cling unto the
things of happiness and joy, nay all things that are good. I do bid thee
well in all times. May god be with you till we meet again, amen.